Checklist: Qualities in a Mate

It has been said when looking for the right woman it is vital a man find a woman who can “balance a cheque book.” Although this is seemingly important, there are certainly qualities about a person that men or women would want to consider when finding a life mate that may be a bit more important than a balanced cheque book. So here are a couple of things to consider if you are one of many who just has not found the “one” just yet.

1.     Everyone needs to be in a relationship with someone who can help them navigate this bumpy road called life successfully.  To that end, intelligence is key.  Given the male ego, it has been said that behind every great man is a greater women, but I think it might be better to say, behind every great individual is an even greater one. So we need to go beyond judging the book by its cover.

2.     Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I am guilty of looking at couples from a physical point of view and thinking, how did those two every hook up? Then I quickly catch myself and realize that they must match on levels well beyond looks or appearance.

3.     You have heard the expression, “life is short” but in actual fact, life is long and there are many twists and turns along the way. It can also be mundane so it is important you find a partner who is vivacious! Having a partner who is curious, adventurous (both in and out of the bedroom) will improve your quality of life especially when it seems run of the mill. You are less likely to run if you are having fun.

4.     It is vital you are with someone in life who is willing to compromise as we are all stubborn in our own ways and may dig our heels in the ground. Change is a challenge for many. A healthy relationship is about making compromises after all no two people can be on the same page at the same time all the time.

When you meet that “one” and you fall in love, you feel a comfort, a security like none other.  When you hold that person or are in that person’s arms, you know you are meant to be nowhere else.  You feel the love of this person and know they will have your back, that you matter above all else.

However, above all, the most important aspect of any relationship, often overlooked and commonly underrated is the compatibility two people have in the bedroom. Having a great sex life cannot be overstated.  It is not something that needs to be learned, it just happens.  So many people choose a life mate because they “tick the right boxes.” There may be other boxes to tick but none so important as the power of the neurochemistry of love with lust.

So many patients I see in my clinical practice come to see me because of sexual discrepancy or low sexual desire. Making sex a priority when one is choosing a life mate is important to a happy and healthy life. Numbers 1 through 4 are important so do not discount them but come on we still need someone to rattle the headboard with and if it turns out to be with the “one” then you are lucky in love.

For more information on sexual desire, please visit: