Two years ago Susanne a clothing designer met Roger, a tax attorney after exchanging glances at a party and the attraction was instant. After introducing himself, they talked at great length and had much in common such as a love of the arts, skiing and the guitar. Susanne had a flight to catch so had to leave the party early but not before they exchanged numbers. Text me, were Roger’s parting words. Susanne smiled and unwittingly took forever to take her eyes off of Roger.
Susanne sent Roger a text and said, it was a pleasure meeting you tonight, thanks for the laughs. Roger texted back and said, the pleasure was all mine and please know when I think of you, I smile. Susanne felt all tingly. They began texting each other with Roger asking Susanne to meet him for a drink to continue where they had left off. I find you very attractive Roger would text. I cannot wait to see you again. Susanne was getting nervous.
There was one secret Susanne had and she did not want to tell Roger. For now, she was enjoying the fantasy. She felt very uncomfortable and wondered why she kept one of the most important aspects of her life from her new friend. Or was he….just a new friend?
No harm Susanne thought in texting Roger. His texts were quite flattering and when it advanced to sexting, she found it quite arousing. Their mutual sexting went on for months, with Susanne never accepting his invitation due to time constraints and a bit of fear. He was not available when she did the inviting and found that peculiar.
Then one day, Susanne ran into Roger on the street. He was walking with a woman and they seemed to be arguing. As she walked by, she stopped him on the street and said hello. Immediately, the woman he was with introduced herself. “Hello, I am Jackie, Roger’s wife.
Even seeing him with his wife, Susanne could sense the attraction she had with Roger and she was certain his wife saw it as well. In a strange way, Susanne was happy that Roger was married for that leveled the “playing” field so to speak.
What Susanne did not want Roger to know was that she had been married to Brad for the past fifteen years and bored in the bedroom for the last several. Also Brad was quite stressed with his job, which impacted their relationship. Never had Susanne even so much as entertained the idea of an affair but it was all she could think about since meeting Roger.
She did not hear from Roger for several months after that chance meeting. It was as though they had never happened. Then out of the blue, she decided to send him a text. “I have a fantasy and it involves you,” she wrote. He texted back immediately and said I think of you often. What is your fantasy?
Susanne said, I felt we had an attraction but given your “status” we are not a possibility but the attraction plagues me. I do not wish to interfere with your status but I am wondering if you might be interested in a “same time next year” liaison.
Roger said for sure and they met the next night at a local restaurant asking for a table at the back. The two became close and began kissing before speaking. They left after one drink and checked into a local hotel. Roger’s wife was away and Susanne told her husband she had a trip out of town. The rest we shall say is “her”story.
Now let’s stop and look at this situation. In every relationship there are hardships that people need to overcome to make the relationship a success, that includes dealing with intimacy and desire. In spite of her feelings for Roger, Susanne might have considered communicating with her husband to talk about her lack of desire to be intimate with him. Communication is the most important aspect of any relationship especially intimate ones, if you cannot figure out a way to communicate on your own there is no shame in seeking the help of a therapist. Is it worth it to sacrifice a marriage and a life for a tryst in the sheets?
For more information on sexual desire, please visit: www.enertopia.com/sexual-health