Too Tired for Sex

Lois, (not her real name) a 42-year old working professional, married mother of three presented to my clinic with #lowsexualdesire. Lois was distressed by the fact that her libido lowered with each passing year.   She had tried date nights and a “hotel rendezvous” neither of which helped because she was too tired and the “duty sex” was frustrating for her husband.   Having had sex only 3 times in the past year, she was living in a “sexless marriage”.

According to the 2008 Preside Study, approximately 44% of women between the ages of 24 and 44 have low sexual desire which is characterized by a woman’s loss of interest in having sex.  It is the most common type of sexual dysfunction.  .

Fatigue is the number one reason for low sexual desire and I could see Lois was exhausted.  During my sexual health assessment I learned Lois no longer fantasized about sex and that she and her husband had unresolved issues in their relationship which  are a couple of reasons for Lois presenting with these #lowsexualdesire. Lois was also ashamed to tell me that she found her husband had been “sexting” with a woman from work and wanting to meet, which prompted her to seek help.

Self-care is important for women and finding time every day, to eat properly, exercise and get adequate and restful sleep is key.  Understanding that most men have a biological need for sex and therefore desire discrepancy is not uncommon for many couples. Low sexual desire is complex and therefore getting to the root of the problem is vital.

Mindfulness cognitive behavioral therapy has been shown to increase sexual desire in women.  It involves making time for sex, solo or partnered, but being present both physically and emotionally is important.  Using a sexual desire gel like #VLove aims to increase sexual desire and provide comfort for vaginal dryness during sexual intercourse. . 

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